The other day I was talking on the phone to my boyfriend. I was apologizing for, things. We talked for a long time. At one point in the talk, it got to the point where I said I had a hard time finding faith in God. It's hard to go on sometimes, it really is.
He then gave me a speech about faith.
If you can ever remember sitting in a pew as a child, and tearing apart an offering envelope to draw on, or going to bible studies with your parents, or playing hide n go seek during christmas rehearsals, and such, you'll get this next part. It seems like every other speech, or sermon, you'll get in life is about having faith. How some one had a hard time, and struggled believing God was there, but then he showed up through a miracle or something. There is always a tunnel involved it seems, and there was always a light. You either chose something bad, or something good, and they make it seem like everything weighs on this choice. I am always hoping Trevac will show up at the time my choice roles around.
He never does.
My boyfriend went on to give me one of those speeches, because he loves me and he wants me to be happy. At that point I became very upset because I was sure he was trying to 'convert' me, and he wasn't. I would make a great converted christian though. I know everything to say to make someone's testimony even better. I'd sit and wait, and when the time came i'd cry. and then I would tell them how their story changed my life in a revolutionary way and I would quite drinking and drugs, and tell my pimp I couldn't work for him any more and everything would be smiles and rainbows.
But i've been a christian since I was three.
