I think that growing up everyone has a type of dream they'd like to see fulfilled. I had two. To go to space camp. And to be really good at something without trying very hard, or at all really.
If you don't know this about me, i've never been to space camp. I went to a circus camp once, but never space camp. But, in sixth grade I was in band. And I thought that might be my chance. Seeing as it didn't work out too well for me and dance or softball. I was handed a clarinet, and I couldn't even get a sound out of it. So I was a little disappointed. I tried a flute, and I couldn't even make a noise out of that and apparently that is something really easy. After that my band teacher got a little sorry for me and a lot of kids made fun of me and called me flute girl. Then he said, well try this not a lot of people can play it but you might as well give it a try. And I did, and I could play it right away. Which was pretty unusual according to my band teacher.
Well, I am guessing you can tell what happened next. I grew up never practicing but always making it into cool things like the cities youth orchestra. Did some more growing old less growing up and getting a scholarship for music at college. Never knowing how to practice but more of how to play. Which I am unfortunately having to learn and work on here at school, learning how to practice and how to move my fingers faster.
I guess if we look hard enough at our lives we can see where our dreams have come true. Which is sad and joyous at the same time. But now I will have a new dream. Even if it is simple, that alright. It would only mean i've achieved more dreams in my life. That might be naive and simple, but I think that's alright. I make up for it in other places.
I have very few regrets. But I am not going to lie, I do have them. Practicing and learning the trait of my instrument more is definitely high on that list. I think the one that breaks my heart the most though is thinking of a boy back home I never dated, but had liked. I saw my problem was that I didn't even try. I guess if you never try, you'll never know right. But then, what if you try and you fail. Or try and succeed. Sometimes, it feels good to smile. Others, it feels good to burn.
It can feel like a movie star.
I think I should be sad now, but I have so many things to be glad about I just don't see any room for it right now.
