Jake

I hadn't spent anytime in the bible for about a month or more. The last time I was on my knees was three weeks ago and I didn't want to go back in fear of God answering my prayers again. Last time I asked him to shake me up, turn my world around, put me back on the path for him. the lesosn learned was to be careful what you pray for, along with other things.
I had not helped anyone out. I hadn't given to the needy. The lost had walked by me and I have not tried to help them in the least. I had been careless with my faith, with my walk with christ and it showed in my life.

I was stressed out. I was short tempered, and best of all my life was in ruins. Yes my life was in ruins, and yes I am only in college. Yes that is a collge that costs too much, and yes even now I am typing on my fancy computer in a coffee shop.

That was when I remembered that I sighned up for the bread of life. This ministry project that goes down town to help out the homeless. Feed them, talk to them, clothe them. I had just finished band and decided to go. So I went, by myself to help the homeless.
I don't know if I helped very much, I kinda just stood against a wall. When I wasn't standing next to a wall I was talking to people. I didn't serve them food. I didn't help them pick out clothes. I talked to them. I don't know if I acomplished anything with anyone that day, or if I made anyones day better but I went. I met two homeless men. well actually I met about seven. we talked about baseball, we talked about music. we talked about how a lady there looked a lot like she could be hillary clintons daughter. We talked about school. Kids, being one and having them. But I spent the most time talking to these two men. they were old, they had kids. Jake, he had daughters who went on to be very succesful. All three of his daughters graduated from college with honors and are now married to very successful men. I don't know why he is homeless. I didn't ask.

I don't know why they were there, some of them. Some of them, some of them really didnt look homeless. Just poor. they were just there to eat dinner because they probably couldnt afford to have dinner at home. I met a guy there that didn't look to bad. To homeless I mean. excuse me as my inner ignorance is caught. He didn't look like he had been living on the street very long, and he hadn't. He had just gotten out of jail. He didn't say what he went there for and I didn't ask. His kids wont talk to him. He has no connections socially and has no where to go and no one will hire a guy right out of jail. I guess when you think your life is in ruins something always has to happen to show you it could be worse.

Nothing amazing happened when I was there really. there were no mircales. No one came to christ in a dramatic way. we didn't even talk about him. But we did talk about ourselves.

I was leaning against this wall, and I never lean against walls and keep to myself. I can normally talk to stranges. But I just felt pinned to that wall. How do you talk about the new season of lost to someone who doesnt even have a tv? I leaned against that spot. I realized I hadn't eaten since lunch at around noon. It was now 8:30. I was terribly hungry. I guess they were too though.

We talked about being homeless on the way back to school. A girl asked our driver, a boy only a year older than me who had just spent the week living on the streets with the homeless as a plan to get to know them better. She asked, do you think if they could just walk out of it they would? He replied yes. But it is so hard to start over again most of them stay where they are.


I don't think I have reached that point of no return yet. And for that I guess I will continue to press on. With the minor troubles and tragedys that occur. If you could even call them that.